my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
