I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
