new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
