Duck Duck Cougar?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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