So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
