? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Mom said you looked used
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
