i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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