In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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