She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
