Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
