i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
