There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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