I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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