I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
