You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
