I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
