we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
