Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
