Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
