Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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