def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
