The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
