I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
