I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize