Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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