batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
