I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
