what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
