I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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