Plan B is the new Plan A
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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