fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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