if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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