I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
