we made out on top of his cat.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
