How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
