That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
