i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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