I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
