Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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