Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
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