That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
