ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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