He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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