drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
