she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
