Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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