We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
