I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Im part way to drunk.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
