Ambien. No doubt about it.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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