just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
should my penis look like a turkey
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
