all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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