Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
